


Let's Make A Deal

by sanguine_scales, WarAgainstReality



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Crowcifer - Freeform, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-27
Updated: 2015-12-27
Packaged: 2018-05-09 15:27:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5545145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sanguine_scales/pseuds/sanguine_scales, https://archiveofourown.org/users/WarAgainstReality/pseuds/WarAgainstReality
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Cage has opened and the Winchesters can't seem to devil-proof the Bunker. Lucifer is always popping up. Strange relationships are developing and secrets are revealed. What happens when the King of Hell and its god make a deal? What secrets do these men hold? Tune in for Crowcifer and a hint of heavenly feels.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Breaking and Entering

**Author's Note:**

> If you love Supernatural, you should definitely check out the Supernatural Amino app. It's a great and supportive community. I'm QueenCrowley if you want to check it out.

In retrospect leaving the Bunker unattended just weeks after Lucifer's apparent 'parole' from the Cage probably wasn't the best of ideas. Then again, Dean was sure he'd finally devil-proofed the place before kicking Lucifer out prior to leaving. Of course that also happened to be the fourth time Dean had claimed the same thing. The first time, Sam had come home to the devil standing around the kitchen testing salsa; the second time, Lucifer had been sprawled on the couch chuckling at Sharknado; and most recently, he'd been looking at Dean's box of Busty Asian Beauties like it had personally offended him.

For an angel supposedly working on a fraction of the mojo (as stated during a horribly awkward visit from Chuck), Lucifer was frighteningly good at breaking and entering into what was supposed to be the most secure location on the planet- presumably for kicks and giggles. It wasn't a fact that helped Sam's nerves at all.

So this time, after a few days following a useless lead on the mysterious Darkness, Sam was ready to find Lucifer lounging around like he belonged there with whatever random possession of the Winchesters' had most recently caught his attention. Unfortunately for Sam, what he found was neither Lucifer lounging around or building his continued case against humanity via Dean's 'culturally insensitive' soft porn.

No, instead it was Crowley's distinctive tones he heard coming from down the hall with the quiet intensity reserved for situations even the King of Hell put aside his usual decorum for. A traded look with Dean confirmed that this probably wasn't going to end well- especially when a hint of Lucifer's quiet tones followed up whatever comment had been made last.

"...ctually shouldn't be surprised really."

"Let's not kid ourselves, darling: you're hardly the paragon of patient understanding and compas-"

The brief pause lasted just long enough for Sam to register that they'd been caught. Sure enough... "Curiosity killed the cat, Sam," Lucifer recited lazily, just loud enough to carry easily into the hallway where the Winchesters stood.

Naturally, it was Dean who ultimately shrugged and marched fearlessly into the library. Sam followed to at least try and mitigate the inevitable damage.

Surprisingly though, no one was dying, bleeding, or threatening to unleash unholy vengeance. Everything was actually still in place, and none of the glass had been shattered. Only after looking for a minute did the subtle hints of defensiveness in Crowley's posture register, but it was a whole hell of a lot different than the few times that he'd seen the demon's life on the line. "Shame on you, Squirrel," he scolded. "You know better than to interrupt when the adults are talking."

"Yeah," Dean snapped. "Well maybe you two should've thought of that before you broke into the Bunker for your little date."

Sam decided to step in at that moment simply because he recognized the look of Lucifer's fury steadily melting through Nick's borrowed-and recently repaired- eyes. "Why are you here, Crowley?" he asked, hoping to break off some of the tension.

It really didn't work.

Though the strangest part was the way Crowley and Lucifer traded a quick assessing look before anything else. Like they had to agree not to destroy each other (and likely a fifteen mile radius) before bothering with the Winchesters. It disturbed Sam on some level he wasn't sure he wanted to analyze yet. He recognized that sort of silent communication because he did the same thing with Dean and even Cas, when they'd finally gotten to know each other better.

But that was the thing: both parties needed to know each other pretty well to pull it off that smoothly, which was a whole different can of worms.

Something shifted in Lucifer's expression in those couple of seconds. The anger was roped back into the slow burn it usually was, and he unfolded his posture to saunter lazily to the couch. The smirk he flashed their way showed too many white teeth to be as innocent as it looked at face value. "We have business. Obviously," he says, pale eyes drifting to Crowley with a lot less teeth showing. "As the current monarchs of Hell."

Too busy voicing his outrage, Dean didn't notice the look Crowley shot at Lucifer, but Sam spotted it. Spotted the way Crowley started making calculations and the lifted, questioning brows Lucifer returned as he totally ignored Dean.Something was going on here, and Sam wasn't above labeling it an issue of paramount importance to their continued existence to figure out what.

"Really, Squirrel, where are your manners?" Crowley cut in smoothly. "I would have assumed even you would understand a professional courtesy when you saw one."

Dean wasn't getting it. Sam wasn't getting it either, unless they were about to politely declare their intentions to start a new regime of Hell on earth.

"Oh, Sam. You have an overactive imagination," Lucifer chided, amused. To which Sam promptly scowled his disapproval at the invasion of his thoughts. "Like it or not, you're still my true vessel, and you're projecting; it'd be hard not to hear you," the blonde pointed out flippantly, "Back on point... what's that quaint little saying of yours? 'Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.' I thought you'd approve."

They both knew that wasn't anywhere close to the real reason, but Lucifer hadn't technically lied either. It was all the truth, just painted in the best possible light. If Sam had to guess, he would have said Crowley and the archangel hadn't even known that they were going to run into each other. Especially when he thought about the way Crowley had taked about Lucifer's hatred for demonkind only a few years ago.

So Dean wisely pointed to the door and barked, "Get the hell out of our house!"

For a second, Lucifer looked ready to protest out of spite. Sam would have preferred that to the sly, polite smile aimed in Crowley's direction instead, "I could go for a drink."

"Darling, there isn't enough alcohol on this continent to phase you," Crowley replied without hesitation. "Though I'm a firm believer that any good business venture should be sealed with a glass of bourbon."

Apparently somewhere in all of that was the silent signal for Crowley to smoke out, possibly with Lucifer. Chuck (who apparently wasn't just a skittish prophet these days) hadn't really made it all that clear whether or not the fallen archangel or his older brother still had their wings in functioning order, and Lucifer certainly wasn't telling.

Dean, being Dean, was the first to break the silence. "Sam... What the hell just happened?"

With a sigh, Sam shook his head," Got any other ideas on how to keep them out?"

It was going to be a long night.


	2. Heaven Knows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam follows Lucifer and Crowley to the bar. Huge secrets are revealed and a scheme is born. Rule one for Team Soulless: always mess with the Winchesters

Crowley hadn't wanted to go too far; just far enough to avoid curious ears. They stopped at a dive bar in the local slums to finally have the confrontation that the Winchesters had so rudely interrupted. Unbeknownst to them, Sam had followed.

They ordered their bourbon and waited for the waitress to leave before setting in for their little discussion.

"Now," Lucifer said with a dark gleam in his eyes. "You were in the middle of an explanation."

Crowley just glared, "I don't have anything to apologize for. I bloody fell for you and this is the thanks I get."

"You can't expect me to believe that you fell for me and then joined the Winchesters to try and make sure that I never saw the light of day again," Lucifer growled.

Meanwhile, Sam slid into an empty booth a few feet away. The bar was bad even by Dean's standards, and Sam shrunk back against the seat trying not to be noticed or to touch the mysterious stains on every surface. His brain whirled as he tried to process what was going on. What could they mean by "fell"?

"You want to know why I helped them? I didn't want to take the blasted wager that you might not have recognized me or even care it was me before you started massacring all of demonkind," Crowley spat. "You have quite the reputation and if I'm going to die it won't be because of one of your bloody whims."

Lucifer seemed shocked by the accusation. Sure he hated demons, but he knew Crowley. They were best friends. No one else had understood him and his need to be free. What would be the point in killing the only real friend he had made in centuries?

"Why would-" Lucifer started before Crowley cut in.

"Do you have any idea how it feels to live through two immortal lifetimes unloved? I only had you and Gabe. He ran off the first chance he got to go play pagan god and you ended up in a permanent time out."

"I tried to follow you. I ripped out my grace and was born to yet another parent who didn't want anything to do with me. I spent my whole human life in an existential crisis trying to find out what was missing, and I sold my soul to get it back. And what did I get? Memories of centuries of misery and pain, knowledge that I never belonged, and three useless inches!"

Crowley pulled a three inch glass vial from around his neck. Inside was a silvery-blue substance that Sam had seen a dozen times before. There was no way of mistaking it for anything other than it was: angelic grace.

"Well, try being betrayed by the ones who claimed to love you," Lucifer spat back. "They cast me out simply because I had a differing opinion, and it's not like I could hide it with the omniscience! You claimed to love me too and you helped them force me back into the worst place in existence simply because you were afraid I wouldn't like you anymore."

Crowley was unfazed, "I sold my soul to be whole. Instead, I lost any chance I ever had to be what I was meant to be. I was a bloody demon; that was taboo, an abomination even. The grace was incompatible now, useless. Anyone I used to know wouldn't be willing to accept me in this form and you were known for your intense hate of my kind. I couldn't let this ruin the only good memories I had."

They both went silent. Lucifer had never realized just how dependent Crowley had been on him. The one who now called himself Crowley was never the most popular angel in the garrison but to think he had no one else was surprising.

Lucifer still remembered their first descent to the human world and why the other had chosen the name Crowley. That had been the name of his first willing vessel. That was the last thing they had done together before he had been cast out.

In the middle of this little flashback is when the reality really hit Sam. Crowley was a fallen angel. He became a human witch and then a demon. He may be the most powerful thing they've faced so far and Sam had just tried to kill him less than a month ago. 

He was projecting so loudly that Lucifer nearly covered his ears. Crowley was clearly angry It turns out that angel radio had a sister channel: fallen angel radio They were connected now mind to mind and understood that they were still somehow best friends after all this time. 

Crowley wanted to prove Sam right by sauntering over to his booth and brutally murdering him. The conversation was highly personal and not meant for him to hear.

Lucifer on the other hand had an idea. Why not mess with the Winchesters instead?

He eyed Crowley with a nostalgic smile, "Truce? Bad things happened and they can't be changed, but we can still raise hell together and rule it together too."

Crowley and Lucifer began flirting over the top and when Sam couldn't take it any longer he escaped back to the Bunker.

"Dean, I followed them," he yelled in a rush. "Crowley as a freaking angel, and I think he and Lucifer are dating!"

Dean's jaw fell in shock before he yelled for his favorite angel. Cas had some explaining to do.


	3. The Three Amigos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel and Castiel appear. Crowley and Lucifer crash the Bunker for their coronation/merger party.

Naturally, Dean's first instinct was to call Cas' feathery ass over to explain what the hell was going on. That, of course, ended in complete confusion on the angel's behalf when he arrived in the Winchesters' hotel room two days later. Eyes squinted and head tilted in confusion, it almost appeared that Cas was scanning Dean for some sign that he was running a fever or working under the delusion of some sort of magic. "I'm quite certain Crowley was a demon the last time I saw him," he replied to the small interrogation-turned-rant.

When it quickly became apparent that Cas had no more idea than the Winchesters, Sam brought up their latest (and certainly loudest ally): the newly resurrected Gabriel, who was currently acting as 'a super sexy parole officer for the dick-ish big bros,"

Sam and Dean had come to the quick decision that it probably wasn't a good idea to put the guy who'd basically skipped town (and all of his major responsibilities) in charge of the two beings at least in the top five countdown of the most destructive forces in the universe. Castiel, however, had been quick to counter that Gabriel was pretty adverse to said destruction and was probably one of the few beings in Creation that stood a chance at stepping between his currently depowered brothers if they decided to go at it again.

Either way, by silent, unanimous decision, no one asked why Gabriel was dressed in a bright yellow Hawaiian shirt, cargo shorts, and sandals covered in what looked like beach sand. The fruity-looking drink in one hand and the inflatable flamingo raft in the other were better left out of mind. 

"What's up chuckleheads?" he greeted, taking a sip from the loopy straw in his drink. "If this is about the world going to hell in a handbasket again I already got the memo."

"So get this..." Sam started.

Gabriel, who had never met Crowley, didn't seem nearly as confused as Castiel. If anything, he looked more hopeful, which wasn't entirely surprising given that, despite the disasters, he did actually tend to care for his family. It was around the time Sam finished up the story, referencing the weirdly over-the-top flirtation, that Gabriel's eyes went wide. 

Gabriel, for one, was tempted to point out that Lucifer didn't really do 'dates.' He knew his older brother well enough to get that this was probably a ploy of some sort, which was kind of a pain in the ass. As usual. Because, as the Dad-appointed celestial parole officer, it was his job to figure out if it was harmless prank or ingenious plot to go all Biblical on humanity in general. 

Given that he'd left Michael back on the beach for 'mandatory anger management and relaxation fun time,' at least he didn't have to worry about the Apocalypse gearing up for round two because Lucifer and Michael couldn't agree on curtain materials. 

Not yet anyway.

Nope. It was time to go confront the brother that stabbed him. Fun times...

"Okay... But if I'm not back in half an hour, send Sammy, "Gabriel instructed. "With a stake. Shirtless."

Naturally before Sam could protest, he was gone with a snap and a flash of magic.

In retrospect, tracking Lucifer's grace back to the Bunker probably shouldn't have even pinged on Gabriel's surprise radar. The Winchesters were literally the only humans to ever outplay the second eldest archangel, and it had apparently fostered some weird, half-grudging fascination with what made them tick from said angel.

That said, the whole party vibe was distinctly a surprise.

The banner declaring 'Happy Corporate Merger' was admittedly, hilariously tacky and done partially in glitter. Between the almost offensively loud decorations, the blaring music, and demons milling around (some in complete wide-eyes adoration while most were rocking the sheer terror thing), it took a couple seconds longer that it should have to find Lucifer. 

Given the ridiculous chair (more of a plush throne really) that he was lounging on, long legs sprawled out lazily in front of him, he shouldn't have been that easy to miss. And... apparently he'd conjured up a plastic, novelty crown to sit crooked on a head of blonde hair. It should have looked hilarious given his causal layers and jeans outfit, but, as always, the ass somehow managed to pull it off by sheer force of will and a total lack of shame. 

Damn, Gabriel hated it when he remembered why he'd once looked up to his brother. 

"I'd assumed it would be another week or two before they sent you," Lucifer commented in lieu of a greeting.

"Yeah, well... With you, 'fishy business' is about as likely to mean the Apocalypse as... whatever the hell this is," Gabriel pointed out sourly, waving a hand at the intentionally hideous, cartoon-ish fire and brimstone decorations. "Kinda hoping it's the latter 'cause I just got Mikey to take a chill pill" At Lucifer's skeptical look, Gabriel tolled his eyes and added on, "Sort of."

Okay, so Gabriel was making about as much progress on that front as any of them were having finding anything on the Darkness. Lucifer didn't need to know that, though.

That train of thought was interrupted by the appearance of a powerful presence off to his left and the arrival of another demon in front of the matching chair next to Lucifer's. The lower class demons were already completely quiet given that they were packed in a room with the Prince of Darkness and the Messenger, but the silence was somehow even more pronounced with the new arrival. 

And Lucifer hadn't quit grinning that smug, knowing smirk that never meant good things for the person on the other side of it.

For once, Gabriel was too busy trying to figure out what the hell was going on-because he recognized the fell of that presence under the unfamiliar cracks and darkness-that he almost missed the bark of "Out!" and the sudden occupancy of three in the room. 

"How...?" Gabriel started, "What...?"

There was a wariness in Crowley's gaze but he held Gabs stare anyway. "Says 'Loki the Trickster.'"

Lucifer, naturally, picked that point in time to stand up and waltz over to Gabriel. Maybe it said something about the little family sit down and chit chat they'd all had that Gabriel let him get close enough to set the flamingo raft on a nearby chair and pluck the drink from his hand. With a light shove of his elbow, he prompted Gabriel forward with a quiet warning of "Don't be a-what was it you called me?-'great big bag of dicks'; go say hello."

With a choked off (maybe slightly bitter) laugh, Gabriel stepped forward. Given the way Crowley went rigid, he wasn't expecting to get an armful of archangel. "Man up and hug me," the archangel demanded. "I'm adorable."

"Get off me, you obnoxious ass. This suit is expensive!"

Naturally, Lucifer found the whole thing endlessly amusing. More so when Gabriel finally turned around to find that he'd drained the rest of the shorter angel's drink in the meantime. Completely ignoring that fact despite Gabriel's pouting, Lucifer held out a hand. "Truce, brother?"

Looking between the pair of them, it was pretty obvious that, yeah, there was some serious shit between the three of them that wouldn't just go away. That said, there might have been something to the fact that the three of them were standing in a room (without trying to kill each other) for the first time since Lucifer's Fall despite it all.

Dammit...

When Gabriel popped back into the hotel room roughly twenty minutes later, he got three equally questioning looks. "Well boys, looks like Sammy heard right," he announce nonchalantly. "Now, if you excuse me, I've got another brother to wrangle before he starts trying to micromanage beach goers or something."

Seriously. It was like herding cats. With the intent to get them to solve world peace. But... given that he was sort of breathing and nobody had brought up the whole, awkward Pagan thing in the family chit chat, Gabriel figure he was pretty much stuck with the gig for a while. 

Of course, before he left, he couldn't resist adding on the little gem of "By the way, they're crashing the bunker for the coronation party."

The sheer outrage was nothing compared to a few hours later, when the Impala pulled into the garage, only for the hunters to be greeted with the sight of the archives' conversion into a Grammy-worthy ballroom.

If Gabriel laughed a little too loud from his place overlooking the beach, he figure he'd earned it for a job well done so far.


	4. A Hell of a Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The party gets out of hand. The demons bond and a little more light is shed on the previous relationship between Crowley, Lucifer, and Gabriel.

It might have been because of Lucifer's grand speech about accepting demonkind as his rightful children. It might have been the fact that he and Crowley were getting along in a way like no one had ever seen either of them behave. Honestly, it was probably both of those combined with the fact that no one had been sacrificed for "the greater good" as of yet.

The magnificent ballroom modification that Gabriel had made gave an ironic twist to the out-of-control kegger going on.

"Son of a bitch," Dean yelled as he ran towards Lucifer who had apparently had enough of Dean's "culturally insensitive soft porn." It made a wonderful bonfire and everyone knows that a good kegger is incomplete without fire: especially one with a Hell theme.

Dean knew it was far too late to save his collection as he saw the glossy pages melt and burn turning the objects of his lust into grotesque deformed blobs.

The previously scared stiff demons were dancing, drinking, and wrecking havoc on the bunker. Sam didn't have enough hands or the speed to save all of the precious Men of Letters gear and documents but that didn't stop him form running around like crazy in his attempt. He was basically tackling the out-of-control demons to take back what was theirs.

The boys were like parents who had shown up just in time to catch their kids in the act: furious and at the end of their rope. Except they didn't need to call the cops... They were far more dangerous in this situation than any cop would be.

When they had finally had enough, they resorted to drastic measures.

"Okay, asshats," Dean growled over a megaphone. "Get your black-eyed asses out of our home or we're doing a mass exorcism right here and now."

To get his point across, Dean chanted a few words in Latin. The demons were uncomfortable and probably a little anxious but they didn't smoke out. They didn't move a muscle until Crowley and Lucifer gave them a nod of approval. 

The smoke from the demons' departure, the firs, and the piles of trash and broken items made the room look like a war zone. Well that or the wreckage from a natural disaster. Sam couldn't decide which description was more apt. Dean was wondering whose face he should attempt to pound in. 

"What the hell, man," Sam asked Crowley in exasperation. 

Lucifer just smiled and answered in his stead while throwing an arm around Crowley's waist, "Humans throw parties in haunted houses for the feeling of danger and excitement. To the demons, that's you. Best corporate merger ever! We would have become legendary if we weren't already."

Sam and Dean just looked back and forth between Lucifer and Crowley until it all came together. Lucifer and Crowley had made a deal. now there were two devils. Double the trouble from down under. 

On the one hand, that was probably the worst thing that could happen. Two of their most powerful enemies (well Crowley was more of a frenemy most of the time) were working together. They were virtually indestructible and loved to wreck havoc on the unassuming humans.

On the other hand, Lucifer was powered down and seemed content to hang out making googly eyes at Crowley rather than raining hellfire down on all of humanity. Plus Crowley at least used an honor system for his havoc. It was predictable and usually brought on by its victim.

As he liked to say, "This isn't Wall Street, this is Hell. We have a little something called integrity."

Gabriel chose that moment of contemplation to randomly reappear with an enthusiastic grin.

"Wow this party did a total 180. I guess I should have stuck around. Well I'm here now so I better make use of this fire," he said materializing everything needed to make s'mores.

Crowley looked up in surprise as Gabriel grabbed his arm.

"Come on man. We've got some serious catching up to do. I haven't seen you in centuries! Pull any good pranks lately?"

The Winchesters watched as the defensiveness slowly melted from Crowley's face as they talked. After a while Lucifer joined them and the Winchesters watched as the same thing happened between him and Gabriel. 

"I had forgotten," a deep voice said from an abnormally close distance from Dean. "This was a familiar sight in Heaven long before Lucifer's fall."

Castiel hung his head in shame as he watched the three good friend, the three major outcasts of Heaven, back together again. Those, who like him, had been different. They had suffered while he had simply been warned. They had finally found some shred of happiness.


End file.
